Help for Pornography Addictions

Here is the problem: "Pornography consumers are your parents, professors, husbands, pastors, colleagues, children, and friends; and some modern pornographic offerings make Hustler layouts look like Norman Rockwell spreads in The Saturday Evening Post. Jerry Ropelato of Top Ten Reviews notes that 40 million US adults regularly view pornographic websites. Twenty percent of men admit to viewing pornographic materials at work, 53 percent of Promise Keepers (members of the prominent Christian men’s organization) view online pornography on a weekly basis, and 37 percent of Christian pastors identify pornography as a current struggle. Far from being immune, women account for as much as one-third of all pornographic consumption; and children are some of the heaviest users online. The average child is 11 years old at the time of his or her first exposure. Twenty percent of all children have been sexually solicited on the web; more than 90 percent of 8 to 16-year-olds have viewed pornography online, and 80 percent of 15 to 17-year-olds have had multiple exposures to hardcore pornography." http://www.salvomag.com/new/articles/salvo2/2coleman.php

This is destroying marriages, congregations, our society, etc. 37 percent of Christian pastors struggle with this! I don't know if that translates exactly to 37 percent of Confessional Lutheran pastors or not, but I see no reason that it wouldn't be that or higher. Whether a pastor or not, the most likely path to recovery is therapy but therapy is embarrassing and the pastor might fear the loss of his job, especially if he has been looking at porn at church or doing worse things. This is part of the struggle.

I don't have easy answers. In fact, other than the standard answers, go to confession, admit it to someone, discipline yourself with fasting and prayer, deny yourself opportunities, etc, I don't have any. What I want is a book. I ordered two this morning off of Amazon. Because a pastor can have a book for others, for his members, that he himself can also read and benefit from. Plus I like books. So what book can give to people who come to me and are struggling with these sorts of sins?

When I have known men who were willing to and eager for therapy and support groups, I've had trouble finding groups that fit well in Ft. Wayne. Is anyone familiar with sex addicts anonymous, etc? Is there any fear that such groups might advocate homosexuality as good or advocate divorce. etc ?

I'll let you know what I think of the books when they arrive. CPH, btw, doesn't appear to have anything.

An internal memo

Memo

To: all Gottesdienst staff

From: Misty Rekkted, President and CEO of Gottesdienst

RE: the need to raise money

Directive from an executive session of your Gottesdienst leadership held January 31st, 2011.

Present: CEO Misty Rekkted, Secretary Frank Lee Kloolys, Treasurer Hannah DaCashover, and Development Director Donna Fendum.

The primary need to raise money has led us to determine that some changes need to be made at Gottesdienst, in order to ensure that our major donors are kept happy. Therefore we have determined the following:

• Effective immediately, Gottesdienst must stop paying attention to outward ceremonies. They make donors uncomfortable. So we must begin to pay close attention to the way in which we discuss outward ceremonies, to make sure they are not outward. Henceforth we must give detailed instructions on how to appear casual when conducting services.

• Gottesdienst must encourage people who lead worship to practice smiling, and not to appear as being too serious. Note: This is a very serious directive. We need to be as careful as we can be to ensure that people who conduct services in the churches who follow our advice are always looking casual. Let’s keep those donors comfortable.

• No more Catholic-looking stuff. There’s been too much outward show, and that makes people uncomfortable too. Outwardly, we must take great pains to show that we are a laid-back organization, and that people who follow our instructions are laid-back Christians.

• Remember: all that Catholic stuff is adiaphora. So from now on, all staff members are strictly forbidden to promote any of it.

• Instead, let us be in the forefront of encouragement for worship leaders to keep in mind these ten rules intended to keep them from being legalistic:

o Don’t be too serious during worship.
o Don’t hold your hands palm to palm.
o Don’t genuflect.
o Don’t use incense.
o Don’t make the sign of the cross.
o Don’t chant too much.
o Don’t use the Brotherhood Prayerbook.
o Don’t use King James English.
o Don’t wear your cassock for Bible class.
o Don’t face the altar too much.

Above all, we, the executive council of Gottesdienst want you, the staff at Gottesdienst to understand this as a gentle encouragement, rather than as an ultimatum. Did we say ultimatum? Certainly not! Rather, take this all as “Gospel imperative.” Remember: We are living in the freedom of the Gospel.

Good Advice

In the St. Louis metro area it's beginning to look a lot like spring - the time when young pastors go out to war against the world, the devil, and the flesh straight out of seminary not having a blessed clue about the maelstrom they are walking into. God's grace is sufficient, of course, and his power made known in our weakness. All the same, help the brothers out. What's the best advice you've received for how to conduct the ministry? Below are the tidbits of wisdom I still think about quite a bit and from whom I received them. They range from the pious to the practical. Add more in the comments.

+HRC

--

Start a midweek service - you need it and your people will benefit from it. - Prof. Kent Burreson

Have the congregation take your tithe out of your salary off the top and simply not pay it to you. It's a good example to the parish and lowers your and the parish's tax burden (of course, you cannot have your cake and eat it, too: it will also lower what you are allowed to pay into the Concordia retirement plan). - Fr. Bob Geaschel

Use the phone - a lot. Keep in touch with people. It's easy and wins a lot of points. - Fr. Bill Reinhardt.

Write notes - aim for one a day. Thank yous to your Sunday school teachers, trustees, elders; come back to church notes to your delinquents, etc. - Fr. Larry Rockemann

Set aside one night a week to be in the study, keep it open for appointments, etc. Just be there on that night. - Fr. Bob Geaschel

Whatever else you read, use the Treasury of Daily Prayer every day: it's solid and you can encourage your people to do the same and you'll all literally be on the same page. - Fr. William Weedon

If you've had a hard day, it's OK to eat macaroni and cheese with a gin and tonic for lunch. - Fr. Fred Bischoff

The first thing when you get to your new parish, sit down with your elders and ask them who needs visited, who's sick, who's angry, what are the pressing needs that you need to hit the Monday after you are installed. - Prof. Richard Warneck

It's better to change pretty much everything you are going to want to change in the conduct of the Divine Service right away - of course, explaining why to your elders, altar guild, etc. If you try to change one thing now, another thing two months from now, and another thing six months from then, the people will get change fatigue. If it could wait six months, why not six years? If six years, why not six decades? They expect stuff to change whenever they get a new pastor. - Fr. Ralph Tausz

When you are having a terrible day, it feels like everyone is out to get you, and you just want to crawl in a hole and die - go on a shut in call and say a Mass. - Fr. David Petersen

Call your day off your "Pastor's family day" on the parish calendar. [and see poll at right] - Fr. Rick Stuckwisch

Go to Confession. - Fr. Martin Luther

Pray the office especially on those days when you feel you don't want to. - C.S. Lewis

DDSB 20% off Until the 7th; 15% Off Until the 15th

When I got my chance to go head to head against Albert Pujols I didn't fail - given, I didn't beat him with my slider, just in the Issues, Etc. sound bite of the week contest talking about the lectionary.

I was on Issues to talk about Daily Divine Service Book and have received a lot of great feedback from the show. You can pick up any of the DDSB volumes (and Dr. Eckardt's The New Testament in His Blood) for 20% off until March 7 with coupon code GIANT; and 15% off until March 15 with the coupon code IDES305.

And if you would like your copy of DDSB personalized, instructions for how to do that are here.

+HRC

Gottesdienst KC Area Conference: March 18

Join Dr. Eckardt, Rev. Chaplain Shaw, and me for a Gottesdienst one-day conference on Friday, March 18 in north Kansas City. More information can be found here. To reserve a spot, please contact our host, Fr. Brandon Froiland.

+HRC